Pre-Separation Planning: The Crucial Time

Couples, who contemplate separation, whether married or unmarried, face a number of difficult decisions. The steps they take in preparing for a separation are often crucial in protecting not only their own legal and financial rights, but also that of their children. Here are some of the more important areas to consider:

1. Children: When a relationship ends, one of the most crucial decisions involves who will take care of the children. While it is possible for the parties to share the children on an equal basis, more times than not one party is designated as the "primary custodial parent." It is extremely crucial, therefore, for a parent seeking this role to establish him or herself, prior to separation, as the person whom may best provide for the care and custody of the child. Learning how the family law courts operate and what criteria are used to determine these questions will help secure the position of "primary custodial parent".
3. Support: Whether children are involved or not, financial support for a person who earns a limited income is a frequent area of concern. "How will I pay the rent?" "Where will the money come from to pay my monthly expenses?" "Will I be able to keep my home?" "My car?" These questions need to be answered before a separation takes place, not after.
4. Personal Protection: If a person has been subjected to physical, verbal or psychological abuse, it is often very difficult to voluntarily leave a relationship, especially when children are involved. Such a person needs to learn how the law can protect them from an abusive partner and how they can 'take control of the situation' by ending their relationship in safety.
5. Property Division: When a relationship ends, spouses face the task of dividing their property. This situation can become very unpleasant if one of the spouses has complete control over all the marital assets. Parties who fear that their partner is hiding or otherwise unfairly manipulating marital assets need to take steps to protect their share before they leave the relationship and the other party has had the chance to cover all the "tracks."
6. Debts: It would a perfect world if a relationship could end with neither party owing any money to creditors. For most of us, however, unpaid bills are the norm. If you leave a relationship without taking proper steps to safeguard your credit, a former spouse or partner could ruin you financially for years to come. Dividing existing debts, notifying creditors of your separation and insuring that your name is removed from joint accounts are just some of the steps you should consider before leaving a relationship.
7. Unmarried Parents: For unmarried parents, the burden of a broken relationship is even greater than that facing a married couple. Under California law, for a father to either exercise custody or be obligated to pay child support, a finding of "paternity" must first be made. This fact poses numerous questions for both parents. As a mother, you might wonder: "How do I obtain child support?" "What about health insurance and child care?" "Must I permit the father to see the child?" For the father, the questions might include: "What can I do if the mother won't let me see the child?" "Will the District Attorney come after me for failing to pay support?" "Can I go to jail for not paying support?" These are only a few questions that need to be considered by both parents before they go their separate ways.

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